Tag Archives: phone
Aside

One Way

18 Jun

There’s this four-hour window I live inside every day waiting for the HD to call. Between 8:00 and noon he may call. If I miss it, though — like I did today — there is no way for me to call him back.

I watched my phone “miss” the last ring of his final attempt. I held it in my hand, knowing at that moment HD was recording a voicemail. A wave of weak helplessness flooded me. He was out there, phone in hand, ready to talk, and I could do nothing. No text messages available. No email could reach him in time.
I am at the mercy of his schedule. Only in the event of an emergency could I ever call him, and my own broken heart is not emergent enough.

Maybe you think I talk to him often enough that the occasional missed call doesn’t matter? Well, I ask you, does knowing you’ll eat something tomorrow ease your hunger from missing a meal today? I’m starved for my husband, and all I have are crumbs.

He is my companion. My partner and my best friend. My lover. My roommate. My soul mate.

I don’t ache when I miss your call. You’re in the real world where the phone works both ways.

Advertisements

Smart, phone

15 May

I can’t decide if I love having an iPhone (at long last) or hate it.  The good is… obvious.  There are fun apps, informative ones, and handy ones, too.  The bad is that sometimes I can’t connect and have this burden of frustration because of it.  Previously I was unburdened whenever I was away from my computer.  On the good side, though, I love that I don’t have to take the time to sit down at my computer to discover little bits of information, like before.  Instead my curiosity about — say — the Braves’ score, is appeased quickly and without me leaving my son’s side.  But the phone is always on me, so perhaps there are times I should be — say — feeding my kid, and instead I’m combing FaceBook statuses while he stuffs rice down his pants.  I’ve been asleep, and woken up to reach for my phone because I hear it’s my turn in Words with Friends.

I found out about the “death grip“, as they call it.  Ever heard of it?  (Who dubs such names?) Basically the antenna on my phone is within the casing itself, and if I cup it in my left hand (as we righties are wont to do) it covers the antenna and I drop a call.  This is in the category of “new problem” and therefore “shit I don’t need”.  Do you know what I deal with every day?  My brain is killing me.  My heart is cooking my brain.  I am weary.  Let me talk without getting dropped.  For the love of all that is holy, do *not* let my calls get dropped because of the position of my hand!

I feel the tension of adoring this sleek, black, compact, magical device and despising the new trouble is has brought upon me.

Oldest story ever told, though, right? Be careful what you wish for, I guess.  Lovers, children, fame, fortune.  All bearing their abundant gifts and a new set of worries.  People live alone in austere trailers on the edge of society eating food from cans just to avoid new sets of worries.  I don’t relate to them.

Would you like to know how I view the onset of a “new set of worries”? Of course you would.  So, maybe I’ll write about it tomorrow.

For now, though, the phone serves the duty of being my constant companion.  Like all other spouses of deployed soldiers, I never turn it off, and never leave it far from me.  If I miss my husband’s call, then I’ve missed my opportunity, because there is no way for me to ever call him!  Additionally, I eagerly anticipate hi his blog entries, Facebook activity, and emails.  On some small scale I am relating to the parable of the man in hell begging for a drop of water to be placed on his tongue.

So, today (day #35) I will treasure the novelty and utility of this excellent device, and by the time a year has passed, I’ll be quite ready to dispose of it entirely and return to only a Moleskine notebook!