Tag Archives: fear


27 May

Insecurities are such a wicked monster.  I felt like Satan himself was smothering me with a pillow and whispering lies in my ear.  Those last two posts were written in tears and genuine fear as I felt all the air leave the room, somehow convinced I was going to disappear.

You wouldn’t know it to read all that, but my husband hasn’t said a single word about staying in the Army for twenty years.  He simply said that a conference was, “enlightening”, but he sounded like his father when he said it.  Since he’s so far away, even he became skewed in my wild imagination.  I began to feel like our marriage was born out of civilian love, and that his military self saw me differently than did the boy who asked me to marry him.  My fears turned everyone against me, even myself. Continue reading