One Way

18 Jun

There’s this four-hour window I live inside every day waiting for the HD to call. Between 8:00 and noon he may call. If I miss it, though — like I did today — there is no way for me to call him back.

I watched my phone “miss” the last ring of his final attempt. I held it in my hand, knowing at that moment HD was recording a voicemail. A wave of weak helplessness flooded me. He was out there, phone in hand, ready to talk, and I could do nothing. No text messages available. No email could reach him in time.
I am at the mercy of his schedule. Only in the event of an emergency could I ever call him, and my own broken heart is not emergent enough.

Maybe you think I talk to him often enough that the occasional missed call doesn’t matter? Well, I ask you, does knowing you’ll eat something tomorrow ease your hunger from missing a meal today? I’m starved for my husband, and all I have are crumbs.

He is my companion. My partner and my best friend. My lover. My roommate. My soul mate.

I don’t ache when I miss your call. You’re in the real world where the phone works both ways.


One Response to “One Way”

  1. Tyler L Orr 18 June, 2011 at 4:49 am #

    This made me cry a little.

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